Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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