i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
