Your tits are I can't wait for
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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