i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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