Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
