if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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