Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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