He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
