And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
