Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize