my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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