i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
