I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
