Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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