wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
