She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He felt like a one man threesome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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