you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
