Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
