Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
