The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
