like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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