If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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