He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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