Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
