She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize