Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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