Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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