dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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