After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
