we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am one with the molecules
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
