I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
