If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
