i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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