sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
