do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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