I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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