she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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