New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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