my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
