dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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