I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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