Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The air was thick with penises
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
