just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
