i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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