obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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