i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
