so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize