My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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