he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
