I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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