tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
