So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
so much tequila, so little girl.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
