Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I had to cum in my sink.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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