what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
