she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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