she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
