went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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