last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
