I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
