Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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